If you say you feel that feeling…the one that makes it impossible for you to look away from them at any given moment.” The depiction she offers is certainly charming, endearing even. During one of her conversations with Anthony, Daphne describes love as this: “If you say she is the one in whose presence, you cannot properly think, or even breathe. I watched the second season of Bridgerton with much glee. And with every sour experience, I convinced myself that my partner was just one date away, one flight away or one swipe away. “It is a force unlike any other”, I had internalised and argued, a force that transcended religion, like in Bombay, or caste, like in Kaadhal, or class, like in Maid in Manhattan. I was unaware of my perceptibility as a dark-hued Dalit woman and the implications that held for others around me as I started acting upon them. And to this day, she keeps reminiscing about the events that led up to our wedding, including the parai attam that kicked off our reception in Chennai.ĭuring my pursuit of this true love, I spent most of my twenties believing that “love conquered everything”. The wedding, thus, was her miracle so much so that she wore flowers in her hair for the first time after my father’s passing. She did her part to make me believe in “true love” and wished that I, too, would find someone who cherished me as my father cherished her. Unlike her peers, she had not coerced me into seeking an arranged marriage, and she pushed back against those who undermined my “worth in the marriage market”. His departure meant that my wedding became her sole responsibility, and her lack of social capital would make the pursuit difficult. This was typical for an Indian Christian family, but there was also a different charge to this because I had lost my father 12 years ago in 2010. My mother - also a Dalit feminist in her own right - had anticipated this moment for quite some time.

Spotted Goddesses by Roja Singh